In Between

I am in a place called in between.
I am neither here nor there.
I am currently in between no work and my future work.
I am nowhere and yet i seem to be everywhere.
I am not a child nor am I an adult.
I am in the middle of then and now.
I am awake and asleep.
I am in a valley between what is real and what isn't.
I am here yet I long to be somewhere else.
As I try to heal myself, I am in the middle of losing or winning this battle.
I am home but my true home is the island.
I don't want to look back nor can I move forward.
I am in between a life being lived and a life that is yet to be lived.
And how do I get myself out of here?
Or should I just stay with it, be with it?

Then the questions, the questions keep coming. They don't stop coming. Flowing from within like currents in the sea. They will not stop flowing. They come because my soul knows they need an answer. An answer that has to be lived out because that is the only way they will keep still, a momentary stillness before I could clearly see the bottom of that blue water and watch the beautiful things that reside there.

I know only I can find the answers for no one else will live my truth but me. I take a look at myself and say with a knowing smile what I am about to ask, "So, tell me, do you really honestly want to leave this place?"


*Me standing in the bridge to nowhere, photo by Kups taken in Siargao summer 2006.